With Heavy Hearts

It is with hugely heavy hearts that we share with you the loss of our wonderful Te Akau Hilton.

From the moment this would-be-but-couldn't-be "withdrawn" didn't-quite-make-it guide dog puppy came to Te Akau Stud in February this year, he demanded our attention with his incessant barking.  He was difficult, insecure, noisy and kind.  But he was smart, a thinker - a hole digger, lavender bush uprooter, food thief, shoe chewer, grape stealer and bench cruiser all rolled into one.

He clambered on to our couches and into our lives.  He filled our house and our hearts. He soon learned which of our daughter's beds was his.  His exuberance for life knocked us over (literally a couple of times) but his heart of gold as he lay with his head on Karyn's lap each evening never shone more brightly.

In four months Hilton aka Hilton the Horror (in the most loving way) - revelled in his walks over the farm with David and his personal trainer who he would bark at incessantly each time she arrived.

Initially frightened of the horses, he soon learned he was not to bark at them and eyed them with respect.  He adored the farm team - and was befuddled as our breaker James Jackson would race past, sweeping up this huge canine, holding him like a baby while telling him what a great (but noisy) dog he was!

His enthusiasm for life knew no bounds - Hilton played with Molly (usually barrelling her over) and annoyed our senior statesman Tom. He would sit on command but his food "distraction" knew no bounds.

Every morning David would let him out (and yes he did pee like a girl dog which we remember with love) and then quiet would reign for about an hour.  At which time he had worked out Karyn was still inside and she was the source of "all things breakfast" - a little bark would become a loud one - and then, strategically postioned, so he could see into the bedroom so when Karyn was on the move, thus he could be at the back door quicker that Usian Bolt!

He left the Foundation for the Blind because of many factors, not the least of which was his food distraction - of course many of you know he famously stole the leg of lamb off the bench as tales were being told in the dining room over a few bottles of red wine after dinner.

Only one and a half years when he came, we were warned he wasn't a walk in the park - he had already had a home but they found him a handful and sent him back.

Big, gangly and black, this affectionate, intelligent and absolutely gorgeous lab embedded himself and his quirky habits deep in our hearts.  From his strange "sit" with his back legs splayed - all we could worry about was possible arthritis down the track.  How could we ever know that you wouldn't even have a half year with us.

On Saturday he fell ill, our beloved Hiltie so David rushed him to the vet - assured that he had again eaten something he shouldn't have, some injections and we were told he would be fine.  On Saturday night he slept with us and we are so thankful he did.

We cuddled him and loved him and at one stage (unheard of in our household) he actually came up between our pillows and curled himself into a ball and slept with his head on Karyn's shoulder.  It was as if somehow he knew this was goodbye.  Karyn had always promised him he had found his forever home and we would look after him until the day the died.

On Sunday we left him on our bed asleep - unusual - but thinking it was due to the medications, we asked Sam to keep a good eye on him.  No better on Monday, Hiltie was back at the vets.  They undertook exploratory surgery on Tuesday.  The call we received was the worst news possible - to be so far from him - a tumour so large and wedged so deeply between stomach and throat they could not operate.

We would have done anything to save this beautiful boy.  All the love in the world was just not enough.  It is so hard to write this as the tears won't stop yet - his death is just so unfair on every level.  We don't say that with our own sadness in mind, we say that because finally Hilton had the future he so truly deserved, only to be robbed of it.

Hilton is home at the farm resting peacefully beside Karaka who we lost in January this year.

Some may say "hey he was just a dog" but those who say that must have a huge void in their lives not to know the love and loyalty of a dog.  To give a dog a forever home is a great gift and privilege.

RIP Te Akau Hilton - what we would give to have those holes in our garden again, instead of our hearts xxxxxx